Continued (evil) thoughts from the second...

Tomorrow wraps up my last day of the second trimester... waking up from a nap to throw up rounds it out pretty nicely I suppose...

Why am I so itchy??
I now get why Palmers wanted me to bust out the lotion 3x per day (in addition to a revenue scheme of course...)


Dressing
Ironing maternity clothes is substantially worse than regular ironing. Wearing a mumu may be in my future.


Pregnancy Myths
Dear prenatals,

I'm still waiting for those luxurious long nails everyone promised me...

Any day now...

No?

Figures...

Being Honest

J: You up for a walk around the neighborhood?

Me: Sure but let's get it straight that my motive here is to get ice cream after this...

Thinking Ahead

*still wearing my non-maternity tshirts*

If I stretch this out now I'll feel super skinny after the baby is here. 

Whitney: 1, Post Baby Weight: 0

Insomnia

Been awake since 5am... 

... I've been thinking about food.

Things I Didn't Know Existed

Having a good bump day supersedes having a good hair day.

How to leave your house when pregnant:

1. The hour before: go to the bathroom 

2. 20 min before: go to the bathroom again

3. Start to walk out the door: go back to the bathroom

4. In the car a block away from the house: "Crap I have to pee."

New Hobbies

I've become weirdly obsessed with staring at my feet when they're not swollen.

False Advertising

Sorry Target but 3 racks of clothes a maternity section does not make...

Birth Education Class

*After skipping the birthing video*

Class material: Relaxing releases endorphins which eases the pain of labor. Here are several relaxation techniques...

Me: You know what else eases pain? 

Drugs.

Amazon.com Idea

Nightgown and robe for the hospital came in! 

Feels amazing... 

Wondering if I can order a surrogate off amazon to do the actual birth for me...