One Month With McKenna

Dear McKenna,

It’s been one fast month since you joined us and it’s time you learned that your mom’s parenting bar is low - this is why you won’t have a baby book.

But don’t worry. This isn’t a second-child shaft. The bar was low for your brother too.

We should probably also start talking about your monthly rent... but I digress...

Things we know about you:

• You can tune out your brother’s screams and your fur-sister’s barking
• You’re not as into the paci situation as your brother (he’ll gladly take your rejects but we’ve kept him clean for 9 months and have to watch him)
• You love: snuggles, being held... especially during hours that finds most college students closing out their tabs, being warm and looking around and at your mommy and daddy and big brother
• You can: Fart/burp louder than your dad and brother, lift and turn your head, escalate a hunger or burp situation with a raptor-like squeal

Here are things you can tell your therapist when you’re older (maybe you can get a 2-for-1 with your brother):

• We changed your diaper - an unforgivable offense
• We also gave you a bath...

This is new...

Umm...

I. AM. DISPLEASED.

• Einstein baby? More like Bravo baby 🤩
• We made you do tummy time so you can hold your head up one day
• Special guest therapy contributor: the perma-hand impression on your head was from Jase force-feeding you a paci 

Here’s the list for our therapist (which we’ll be able to afford (maybe) in 20-something years):

• After a midnight projectile vomit, your dad takes cover any time it’s time to burp you
• You taught me that catching pee with your hands is not a skill reserved just for parents of boys... thankfully your brother made me an expert in this area
• You’ve set new household records of destroying a new diaper before it was even put on...
• Your cord came off in the middle of the night - instigating the a search and retrieve mission that will scar me for months... less so than if the dog were to find it first 

All in all, you’ve settled in to complete our family and we can’t wait for the adventures ahead.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy 

My First Solo Night

...with 2 kids.

The stage was set.

Jase had been properly worn out and went to bed without complaint except for the fact that I denied him his request for approximately 235 kisses before lights out.

McKenna was napping and I had timed her last feeding at 10. If she had a good night, she’d only wake up at 2am and 6am. At 3 weeks she hasn’t been doing that schedule consistently but a girl can dream right?

8pm: Jase is still awake... he attempts to get out of bed to watch a show but settles for more water.

8:30pm: Jase. Is. Still. Awake. But thankfully he’s self-entertaining. I assume he’ll crash out shortly.

9pm: Justin calls. I make a rookie mistake and have it on speaker while I’m washing bottles. Jase hears daddy’s voice and proceeds to Lose. His. Mind.

9:05pm: Jase seems satisfied with my explanation that he didn’t get the shaft on a daddy kiss goodnight and that daddy wasn’t home. Tears are still shed but he’s calming down.

... McKenna hears the commotion... 

And proceeds to Lose. Her. Mind.

Jase amps his tantrum up. I let him kiss baby sister goodnight before proceeding to listen to him throw a 20-minute tantrum in his room while I give McKenna her 10pm bottle almost an hour early.

11pm: Both kids are asleep... Finally.

12:40am: A coordinated attack is launched when I’m startled by screaming baby in my room and screaming toddler on the monitor.

I get a bottle crossing my fingers that Jase will self-soothe.

I’m not that lucky.

3-4am: McKenna launches a solo ambush.

6am: Coordinated attacks begin again. I give Jase water and walk away from his room wondering at what age he’ll figure out that mommy is lying when she tells him that the TV is still sleeping so he shouldn’t get up yet.

7am: Double Americano it is... 

Just in time for Jase to skip his nap later in the day...