The Mockingbird Post

The mockingbird. The state bird of Texas - beautiful and majestic with a song of love in his voice, right?

Wrong... Let me present to you the real mockingbird...





 Pause for effect...

Public Enemy #1

These things have been torturing me. Yes torture.

I'm convinced that these birds are systematically undermining my sanity. First it started with one singing up a storm from 2am to 5am. 2am??? Does this bird not have a job?  Then, after eradicating him another one of his buddies came along and brought a buddy of his! Come on!

After a few more days, of course something had to be done. But they're the state bird... Technically it's illegal to suggest they meet their maker... but accidents happen right??

At least in my house... they happen after 4 nights in a row of all-night bird calls.

In case you're in need of a few "accidents" here are some common yet effective ones:

Cats eat birds... no-brainer.

Dogs could eat birds... BTW - The socks are an integral part of the "accident" method.

No I did NOT chop down that cherry tree...

Last but certainly not least: When in doubt, blame Ralphie.

I'm not divulging how accident-prone my house has become as of late... I'll just say that I'm not losing any sleep over it. :)

Six Things in Six Months

To mark the six month anniversary of our wedding date (err... 6 days late), behold my top six things you DON'T want to hear from your spouse or cohabitant (all of which comes from the halls of our house):

6. "It's your turn to..."

Let's face it - no sentence that starts like this is ever good is it?

5.  “Look at this gun barrel… no down it…"

Uh... excuse me? That insurance policy isn't switched over to you yet...

4. "How much did you spend???"

Interestingly enough, said from both parties...

3. "I think this chicken isn’t cooked all the way.” 

This statement is much more powerful when you consider it was said mid-bite, mid-meal.

2. "Hey... come here and look at this."

As said from the bathroom... point made.

And the number one thing you DON'T want to hear from your spouse or cohabitant...

1. "I think you're using my toothbrush."  

I've developed a nervous tick when I brush my teeth over that one. 

Happy Friday everyone!