Casa Goff Presents

July's Edition:

Awesome

Justin: *Yells across house* You want to see something awesome?

Me: *Walks to him*

Justin: Here I am!

Me: *Mentally kicks him*

Awesome Rebuttal 

Justin: *Pulling out of the driveway* Can you think of anything we forgot before we leave (town)?

Me: yeah...

*Extended pause*

Justin: What??? *Starting to pull over*

Me: I'm awesome.

Justin: *Mentally punches me*

Torture Expert

Me: *taking the tape/cotton off Justin's arm where his IV was*

Justin: If we ever have to torture someone I'm letting you do it...

Trust me they'll talk.

A Guest Appearance

Doctor: How much do you weigh?

Me: About 10 lbs more than I want to...

Dr: *laughs* No... Really what do you weigh?

Me: Really - that's what you can put down.

Dr: ...

Me: Will this prevent me from getting the good drugs?

Dr: Yes.

Me: ok... Fine.

Things We Can All Agree On

6 Things we can all agree on:

6. The world is round (thanks for knocking that out Columbus and NASA) 

5. No one likes to pay for car maintenance. (Heck we all hate paying for gas and insurance and would likely complain about it if it weren't a commonplace evil.)

4. Kitty litter - I don't care how cute the the cat on the box looks - it's gross.

3. Curdled milk... Vom-atron.

2. Ironing clothes sucks - I have yet to meet someone who tells me they can't wait to get home to knock out some ironing...

1. If you think about it... Deep down... everyone's shares the same (maybe not realized) fear of being stuck in the bathroom... When you ran out of TP... And you need it.