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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Service Review


I’ve been mulling over how to write this post because the experience had me so traumatized I’ve been convinced that the guy I’m writing about will somehow read this and come back to my house to kill me…

But in the interest of humanity… I must proceed.



We have cream-colored carpets and two dogs that seem to think the carpets are mud-colored… At least they act like it as they roll around on the carpet, scratching their backs on my unforgiving, shows everything and then some floor.

Living Social must be mind readers because there was an amazing deal for a company that had really good reviews. Score one for Whitney.

Or so I thought.

Scheduling should have been my first clue. I sent in an email to the company’s website scheduler and got emails at all hours of the night to confirm an appointment for the first available Saturday… hmm.

The week before my appointment I get a call on my cell at work from email guy and he tells me there was a cancellation and wants to know if I want him to come by right now.

Me: “Um… thanks but I’m at work right now.”
Guy: “Oh I thought you were a housewife.”

Awkward pause ensues.

Me: “Yeah, no I’m not. That’s why I needed a Saturday appointment.”
Guy: “Haha – ok I’ll see you on your appointment…”
I don’t remember what else he was saying but he kept talking.
Me: “Yeah, I’m at work I actually need to go.”

Second clue received, but didn’t deter me.

I wish it had.

Day of appointment, the guy calls me to confirm he’s on his way. I had actually missed the call because my phone decided to drop service completely. So I called him back left a message and texted him that I was home and just having cell problems.

Guy rings the doorbell, comes in sweating profusely (I’ll give him props that he was at least self-aware of this fact and had a towel slung over his shoulder) and says: “I called you and you didn’t answer your phone.”

Confirmation… this was going to be long. And painful.

The story continues to be just that but takes a creepy, serial killer turn when…

Guy: “What’s your wardrobe style?”
Me: “Pardon?”
Guy: “You know – how do you dress. For work – do you wear power suits and such?”
Me: “No not really not unless I have Clients in the office do I really have to dress up.”

I offered too much information in that reply.

The rest of the appointment, creecher decided to come show me pictures of clothes he bought for his fiancé*.

*If the definition of fiancé has changed to “woman who doesn’t even live in the same country as you and is clearly using you buy her things but has no real interest in you” then yes… it was his fiancé.

Creecher keeps showing me pictures the rest of the appointment (1) making it way longer than it should have ever been and (2) causing me to have severe anxiety to the point where I strategically stood next to the kitchen knives and mentally prepared for which knife I would grab… just in case.

And it doesn’t stop.

Creecher makes a statement of “You should let me be your personal shopper.”

And at this moment I learned a lesson… There is no appropriate response to the above statement. The best one can do is fumble around and get this creep out of your house.

45 minutes later I did.

Followed by a double-check of the lock on the door and turning the house alarm on. (And maybe a gut-check of where Justin’s gun was… just in case.)

This of course is the abbreviated version of my four-nearly-five-hour ordeal… but serial killer right??
So in the interest of anonymity and yet deterring anyone else from hiring this company, I submit for your review different links to reviews… you decide which one might be the to avoid.











WHOOPSIES… did I post two links that were page not founds?? My bad :)

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