Things you shouldn't do as a new mom

Read The Warning Labels 

Ok, you probably don't want to skip the instructions on installing the car seat (I'm still considering putting that on my LinkedIn profile skill set). 

But let's face it, companies are protecting their interests. Every warning label on your kid's stuff basically tells you to stare at your child non-stop to make sure they're still breathing. 

Mama got the swing so she could have a moment. She doesn't want to stare at you sleeping in the swing... she wants you to be quiet so she can take a shower.

Reading the label only makes you paranoid.

Feel Guilty

Easier said than done. 

My kid has serious FOMO. In fact his usual pre-nap or bedtime trick is to get super cute so he knows we won't want to put him down. I used to feel guilty about watching him on the monitor talk and laugh to himself. Then, one day, I gave in and played with him... he turned into a demon within 5 minutes.

Trust that you're doing the right thing for you and your kid. 

Plus think about it... if you ever slung around the phrase "you've ruined my life" as a teenager it was likely because you complained that you had a curfew, NOT because your mom forgot your blanket at the house.

So table the guilt - you're doing great.

Skip Celebrating You 

...and the badass you are.

For example, I just played my second game of "catch the diarrhea". Let me tell you, even if you win the round, you're still losing.

Celebrate even the small victories. Sure I may have thrown out brand new pjs (Jase, you owe me $8 + tax), and I may have momentarily considered bathing my son in bleach, but hey... I didn't get any poop on me (this time). Pop the champagne.