It's true. Having a baby changes you.

But let's forget the cliche "You've never loved anyone so much" - if you've read my blog before, you know you came to the wrong place if you wanted a Hallmark sentiment. 

Here are some of the less obvious, but impactful, ways having a baby changes you (or me at least): 

#1: You evaluate the value of life activities based on how many naptimes it will cost you.  

Shower? That's one nap... two if I wash and dry my hair. ...Suddenly I find myself all about conserving water. You know for the children...

Grocery shopping? Not only will it cost a nap but possibly a screamfest since the nap is interrupted with getting in and out of the car seat... Food is overrated.

#2: You finally understand the phrase "crying over spilled milk". 

If you pump you act as if every drop is liquid gold (and for the time it takes it pretty much is). I once went on a cussing rampage when I spilled drops... literally drops...

Now, when he doesn't finish a bottle of formula, I calculate in my head how many meals of ramen that would have bought... ramen I'll surely have to eat if he keeps wasting formula. 

#3: When you find that magical unicorn of timing it out so you're eating when the baby is sleeping... 

You eat like a starving convict because (1) you've forgotten how to function eating with both hands and (2) you just know the kiddo is going to wake up mid-meal.

#4: Your life is punctuated with sound effects. 

I don't just zip up my son's onesie... I do it with the gusto of a Star Wars movie... 

So there you have it. It's true... having a baby changes you.

...I'd come up with a better ending... but it isn't worth the naptime.