The Fireplace Reno: Part 2

In case you missed Part 1...

Our fireplace renovation was going along swimmingly. Save for the fact that we hadn't done any actual work and had a pretty hefty investment of materials sitting in our garage.

Did I mention we had some freak ice/snow storms during the winter? 

And we voluntarily evicted our cars from our nice warm garage...

Did I mention that sometimes we're just not that bright?

Demo Time

We had only done a little demo leading up to getting the materials in for the fireplace. I guess I figured looking at a little ugly was better than looking at a lot of ugly.

Plus - we'd totally have demo done in a day - we weren't really losing any time.

One week later we finished demo.

EFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffff.

The Section Titled: I Hate Cement Board.

Cement board sucks.

I could write an ode or a sonnet to how much I hate cement board.

But here's what you need to know about working with cement board.

1. It sucks.

2. It will tear your hands up - invest in work gloves.

3. The scoring knife - BS - it does not work. 

4. Cement blades - BS - they break. Go ahead and buy the cement board shears. You're going to hate eating the $200 but you'll hate life a lot more if you don't. 

5. Have Xanax or a good therapist handy at some point during this phase (also known as the "WHY DID I DO THIS???" Phase)

We also had some fun learnings during this phase like:

*Cement board is flipping heavy.

*We're not so good at the measuring. 

*I won

Nice try Justin...

*Giving up alcohol during this was the worst decision I've made (aside from the renovation in general)

Anyway if you were actually looking for advice on how to do this type of reno... (#1: You came to the wrong place - I failed the "How To" assignment on making a PB&J in the first grade)... #2: You need to put cement board up for the stone to adhere to. For various reasons that involved late night trips to Home Depot and bouts of adult language, we had to go with the 1/2 inch cement board but you could get away with 1/4 inch (which is also a lot lighter and easier to cut).

By this point in the game we were a month and a half into our fireplace renovation. You know... That one we said would take a month.

*Writer's note: If you're OCD about a dirty house. Don't renovate. Ever. Just burn the house down and collect insurance. (Kidding...)

The Fireplace Reno: Part 1

When Justin and I bought our house, one of the features we loved was the fireplace... we also hated the fireplace. (Justin would like me to reaffirm he thought the fireplace was fine - I'll take full credit for this when I write the final blog post with the "after" pictures.)

At face value, it was lovely - a two-sided showpiece that was a focal point for the living and dining room. But as we I lived with it for awhile, we I felt that something was missing... more like the builder ran out of money and just threw something together.

Those large alcoves would signify "great art goes here"... We don't have great art... we have firelogs.

I mean... where's the mantel??

So... we decided we needed to change our perfectly good fireplace... and do a makeover of epic porportions... the kind that is summed up in a nice "look how easy this is" DIY Network 30 second vignette.

This is our 3-month long vignette.

IT STARTED WITH AN IDEA... AND FINISHED WITH ME WINNING

As I mentioned, we had been toying with the idea of an update. In fact, we had been planning for about a year by the time we finally started. Justin wanted a stone fireplace like he had growing up... I wanted a stacked stone fireplace because 1. It looked awesome and 2. it looked like expontentially less work than hauling full-sized stones.

In what the world will never know as The Great Fireplace Debate of 2014, I won. It also helped that I had an ace up my sleeve... my parent's recent renovation of their fireplace...

See how pretty?

Decision made.

SO YOU'RE DOING THIS YOURSELVES??

Yes. We did our fireplace renovation ourselves for a few reasons.

1. We wanted the gratification of having built something with our hands.

....

Ok that's a lie. We did it ourselves because of:

1. Budget

2. Clearly we were home reno experts after having binge-watched Rehab Addict.

SO IT BEGINS

When I say we DIY'd our fireplace... that was start to finish.

I have to say, if you're ever feeling DIY-dangerous, Seconds and Surplus is an awesome place for materials. Not only do they have a huge selection - the prices are pretty reasonable and the staff is extremely helpful (even if they did sell us mortar instead of thinset - I mentally cussed them out during a 9pm Home Depot trip for that one).

So with materials ordered, we started to get anxious to see progress on our now-investment...

Shiz. Just. Got. Real.

We only did a little demo that night - sure our perfectly good fireplace now looked perfectly horrible, but I had the vision. 

About a week later, we got a call that our stone order came in so we made the 20 minute trek to pick it up.

If you've read my post on the safe, you'll recall that we don't exactly have luck when it comes to trailers... three hours at the store later and I've determined that was no one-time incident.

Slightly deflated from my original "I'm totally going to knock this whole thing out this weekend" we were on our way. Five minutes later we pulled over and I'll summarize from here:

1. Ratchet strap was loose.

2. Justin attempts to fix it.

3. It's still loose.

4. Justin attempts again to fix it.

5. It's still loose.

6. Justin throws rachet strap across the parking lot.

7. I check the return policy on the receipt and then remember we've already ripped a huge gash into the fireplace.

8. I pick up the rachet strap.

9. Justin finally fixes it and we go home.

10. We don't work on the fireplace that night.

OH... I FORGOT TO MENTION

During this little home DIY excursion I had decided to do a "No-Drink January" challenge. This proves regretable for the entire 31 days...

Casa Goff Presents

July's Edition:

Awesome

Justin: *Yells across house* You want to see something awesome?

Me: *Walks to him*

Justin: Here I am!

Me: *Mentally kicks him*

Awesome Rebuttal 

Justin: *Pulling out of the driveway* Can you think of anything we forgot before we leave (town)?

Me: yeah...

*Extended pause*

Justin: What??? *Starting to pull over*

Me: I'm awesome.

Justin: *Mentally punches me*

Torture Expert

Me: *taking the tape/cotton off Justin's arm where his IV was*

Justin: If we ever have to torture someone I'm letting you do it...

Trust me they'll talk.

A Guest Appearance

Doctor: How much do you weigh?

Me: About 10 lbs more than I want to...

Dr: *laughs* No... Really what do you weigh?

Me: Really - that's what you can put down.

Dr: ...

Me: Will this prevent me from getting the good drugs?

Dr: Yes.

Me: ok... Fine.

Things We Can All Agree On

6 Things we can all agree on:

6. The world is round (thanks for knocking that out Columbus and NASA) 

5. No one likes to pay for car maintenance. (Heck we all hate paying for gas and insurance and would likely complain about it if it weren't a commonplace evil.)

4. Kitty litter - I don't care how cute the the cat on the box looks - it's gross.

3. Curdled milk... Vom-atron.

2. Ironing clothes sucks - I have yet to meet someone who tells me they can't wait to get home to knock out some ironing...

1. If you think about it... Deep down... everyone's shares the same (maybe not realized) fear of being stuck in the bathroom... When you ran out of TP... And you need it.

Casa Goff Presents

I'm a bit behind on my posting... Really it's because I accidentally deleted notes for my blog posts and my wishful thinking that there's a blog fairy has fallen short.

As such, no time like the present to get back on the horse with a Casa Goff presents...

The Nonsensical Comeback

Me: I painted a bathroom in a day, I'll paint your face red.

J: Huh?

Me: I don't know what that means... I'm sorry I called you a hillbilly (movie reference).

Payback

J: *Complaining that I turned off the hallway light*

Me: You'll make it.

J: I'll remember that the next time you're hanging off a cliff.

#Truth

Me: I tricked you into thinking I was sweet.

J: No. I've always known you were evil.

Solid Parenting Plans

J: If we have a kid and it's a girl I want her to be unattractive until she's old enough to fornicate...which is 40.

Torture

Me: I haven't been productive all day.

J: Why not?

Me: Because mosquito bites on your feet are Mother Nature's version of waterboarding.

Casa Goff Presents: We skipped April for May edition

Sad news: I lost my notes for April Casa Goff

Good news: Due to lack of overall maturity, Justin and I sling enough at each other to make up for it for May Casa Goff...

DIY

Me: We survived the fireplace renovation!!

Justin: Yeah... I never wanted to cut you with the wet saw.

Adoration

Justin: You kinda might be my favorite.

Me: Yeah... You're not so bad yourself...

I guess.

The Rebuttal

Me: I'm pretty lucky (with you).

Justin: Yeah you are.

Cooking Tips

Me: I made this without butter so it'd be healthier because I care about you.

Justin: (takes bite) Next time don't care about me so much.

Dieting (sort of)

Me: I was really good today. I had a salad for lunch and even had them hold the cheese and other good stuff.

Justin: And now you just had a 1/3 lb cheeseburger with double cheese and a couple of beers for dinner...

Me: That's how I roll.

Casa Goff Presents: March Edition

We Do Things Together
Justin: I'm calling it. I'm making plans for us to watch the Masters.
Me: I'm calling it. I'm making plans for me to nap during it.

Plans For Our Future Children
Me: I hope our kids aren't involved in anything.
Justin: That's terrible - I want them to be involved.
Me: Well... I do to... when they can drive themselves to said involvement.

Musical Tastes
Justin: That Taylor Swift needs some therapy.
Me: Hmm?
Justin: Every song she's got is scary. Like really, she scares the cr*p out to me.

Sharing
Me: You want a piece of gum?
Justin: Yes. I'll take a piece of MY gum.
Me: I thought you said it was our gum.

True Love
*while working on our home DIY*
Me: Last beer!
Justin: No it's not. (points at secret stash)
Me: I love you so much right now.

Casa Goff Presents: February Edition

Well of course... I take a day of vacation and then Snowmageddon hits Dallas and I'm stuck at home.

I guess if you're going to be stuck inside there could be worse views.

Ok... that's not my view... but it is pretty to watch the snow.

Plus the electricity is holding out so (1) I'm not freezing like last the last snow/ice/apocalypse... although a drinking game doesn't sound like too shabby of an idea... and (2) I have a moment to update for "Casa Goff Presents..."

Life Goals
J: I need you to help me take the girls out to the bathroom.
Me: Babe. It's cold outside.
J: So...
Me: That means my entire goal in life is to get you to do this and not involve me.
*I had to help take the dogs outside...*


Soul Mates
J: Can you clean your hair out of my brush?
Me: It's a present.
J: Your "present" gets tangled in my hair.
Me: It's supposed to be symbolic of how our souls are intertwined for eternity.

...

Me: Not buying that one huh?


What's mine is yours
Me: You want a piece of gum?
J: Yes. I'll take a piece of MY gum
Me: I thought you said it was our gum...


Expectations
Me: I just read a story about a couple who died within hours of each other after 67 years of marriage.
J: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah... the bar has been set.
J: What do you mean?
Me: When I die you I expect that you to will yourself to death.
J: Not happening.
Me: So you think...

Snowmageddon 2015
J: Hey my boss just came by and told everyone to go home so I'm leaving here in a bit.
Me: Ok - be safe.
...

AND PICK UP BEER.
J: I love you too.

Casa Goff Presents: New Year - New Casa Goff

Well into the near year and the quips have not disappointed... Casa Goff Presents...

Fine Dining
Me: *hands Justin his dinner plate* Your sammie has a tan.

Justin: That's a sunburn.

*while eating*

Me: Mmmm... see it's just got a good smokey flavor to it.
Justin: Smokey would have been if you cooked it a few more minutes.


Who's The Crazy One?
Justin: Sometimes I wonder about you...
Me: Yeah.... but then again you're the one who married me.


Fashion
Justin: Why are you wearing socks?
Me: Why are you questioning my life choices?


Home Improvement Tips
Me: I was working on the fireplace getting the electrical plug adjusted and I got really worried because my hand started going numb and started to tingle.
Justin: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah like it happened when I raised my hand above my shoulder - I was worried that I had pinched a nerve or something.
Justin: Maybe you did.
Me: Well I realized I was holding the metal on the electrical plug... I was electrocuting myself.
Justin: *shakes his head and walks away*